Good-to-Bad Scented Candle


Bitches love scented candles, what they don't love is the odor of shit.

At first, this gift will come off as a kind gesture, the smell of apple pie will entice them to light it. By the time the apple pie scent has disappeared, hopefully you have too – leaving them to bask in the glorious smell of excrement.

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Best Customer Comment

  1. This went even better than I had ever imagined. I was visiting my mom’s house for Easter weekend, so I took a few of these with me for her and a friend of mine. I went as far as telling them that I was bringing them candles from a friend of mine who sold them at a farmer’s market, and who I was supporting as a small business owner, because I’m that kind of amazing son/friend, and needed to minimalize any suspicion. My mother loved the smell of the unlit candle, and insisted upon lighting the fuse to our impending death immediately (sucker). The candle smelled absolutely amazing for a few hours that night and the following day, before my youngest brother began to claim that “something in the house smells like complete crap”…my mother was in denial, as you could still smell apple pie in some areas of the house, but then there were others that smelled like a dog ate a can of old corn, crawled up another dog’s butt and died, and then the second dog farted. About an hour later, I had to leave the house, as I could taste the fart scent. The candle was still lit, of course.

    The only thing that made sense to me was to go to my friend’s house and start the process over, so I did. He has a smaller house, and he is stuck in an odd fart-scented purgatory where part of him is still pissed at me for having woken up and thinking that he was going to get pink eye from someone unloading a flatulent explosion on his face, while the other part of him keeps lighting it at leaving it in his roommates’ rooms and closing their doors while they’re at work. It’s left him in a tough spot.

    I finally made it back to my mother’s house, where my brother and stepdad had already figured out what was going on, but my mom had inhaled so much of the apple fart wax where she might’ve just grown immune to it and could hardly tell. Out came the febreeze, then a wait of about an hour, and then I lit it again to make sure she could tell the difference…she’s still pissed, I’m still laughing. The final act with this candle on my part was lighting it and leaving it in my brother’s room with the door closed while he was at baseball practice. After legitimately dry-heaving from how concentrated it was in there when he got back, he followed in my brave footsteps and decided to take it to his senior prom and leave it somewhere to stink up the place….I haven’t heard about how this went yet, but I imagine horribly.

    Besides the amazing product itself, I must commend Tyler at WTF Candles for his amazing customer service. I emailed him asking about cancelling an order I placed through their website since I found them on amazon with free 2-day shipping, and he got it done immediately, which made it possible for me to take them on my trip. I very much look forward to ordering from them again, as well as trying out the different scents.