Why are there so few products?

Can you give me a goddamn second? I’m trying to list as many as I can that aren’t completely shit – each week there will be more.

These gifts aren't funny

OK so maybe some of them aren’t belters, whatever products perform poorly I will alter and make improvements… and just so you know… in future, when someone asks you for your opinion… don’t rip out their gizzards and hold it in front of their face… what are you? what do you know?

I've just had a shower but forgot to wash my asshole

I totally understand, and please know that here at Gift Gags, we care about your asshole.

Firstly, you will need to make sure the anal cavity is in fact dirty, once confirmed we recommend hoping back in the shower or wiping your anus on the carpet.

I'm not in the US, how can I get the gifts?

That’s a great question, perhaps not a question for me as the products are all on Amazon so your answer would be… I don’t know? Not my problem?

Do you do guarantees

Does the pope shit in the woods?

No, I don’t do guarantees because you aren’t buying them from me ffs.

What toothpaste do you use?

Good question, unfortunately that answer will only be revealed to email subscribers – sign up to find out.